I just got back to home, sweet home after my first CES show. After scurrying around like a spider monkey with ADHD after 5 cups of coffee, I finally settled down and learned a lot. What did I learn? Allow me to share my wisdom, won’t you?
1) There is such a thing as a free lunch. However, if it’s in the press room, you have to get there VERY early!
2) Always make friends with the bartender at the industry cocktail parties. Engage him or her in conversation, commiserate with them about all the freeloaders. Net effect: The bartender may stop using the shot glass to mix your drink, and the ratio of mixer to alcohol will go from 3:1 down to 1:3.
3) If you collect enough 1GB USB drives with “press kits” on them, you can construct your own, very slow cloud storage server. Bring lots of glue and masking tape.
4) When you meet a celebrity, don’t forget to get a photo! By the way, Chris Pirillo is even shorter than you think he is. But he’s also a hell of a lot nicer than you’d expect.
5) Never get behind a “full-figured” person in the dessert line. Especially if there is Cheesecake and Creme Brulee involved. Expect much sighing and checking of your watch. Bring a drink, you’ll need it. (See #2.)
6) There is such a thing as Brainwave Cat Ears.
7) Vegas showgirls are not nearly as pretty when seen close up. oh, and they are of absolutely no help when looking for product information. (Comments are not necessarily about model shown below…)
8) Always remember to bring your Fitbit step counting device with you. I missed out on getting credit for the eleventy-billion steps my sore feet took during the show.
9) The words, “Oh, I have a car with me, let’s just drive over to the convention center,” are some of the stupidest words ever uttered by a supposedly intelligent person. My wallet is $40 lighter because of that phrase.
10) When you’re looking for free t-shirt giveaways, always try to get them on the first day of the show. The XL and XXL t-shirts are always the first to go. If you can’t get there in time to get the size you need, take whatever they’ve got, the smaller sizes make great bibs and car polishing cloths.
